Finding the Right Counsellor for You

Hello! Katrina here from Bold Path with another blog. Today I'd like to talk about finding the right counsellor for you. I've heard this is a tough thing for people and there's alot of confusion around finding the right counsellor how to know if a counsellor is a good fit, so I thought I'd talk about that.

I wanted to start with the reason why it's so important to find the right counsellor for you. Across the board, studies show that regardless of the theoretical orientation, the techniques a counsellor practices, etc., the main predictor of positive outcomes in counselling is the therapeutic relationship. How much you like your counsellor, how heard you feel by your counsellor, how understood you feel, and how comfortable you are being open with them. This is the most important thing when it comes to therapy and counselling. That's why it's so important to find the right counsellor for you - someone you can feel comfortable talking about some pretty tough stuff with.

The first thing I'd suggest is going on Psychology Today. It's a great website, and pretty much every counsellor is on Psychology Today, it's a great hub and directory. You can search the presenting difficulty that you would be coming into counselling with, and find a list of counsellors who specialize or have experience working with the things you want to work on. ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, substance use - start with filtering out those counsellors who have experience with that presenting issue.

From there it's all about personality. From that list of counsellors that you now have who specialize in your presenting difficulty, you can start looking through their profiles. Alot of times counsellors on Psychology Today have a short video that gives you a chance to see them in action - to hear their voice, see how they move, etc. Their website is also a great resource to find out who your counsellor is as a counsellor and also as a person. You get to see the language that they like to use, how soft or direct they are, whether they bring humour into their work. They may have their values on their website, so you can see if their values align with your values, which is a great way to see if you would be a good fit. Even seeing what kind of images they have on their website, or the colour palette - these seem like small things, but they're conscious choices by counsellors that help clients see who they are with the whole purpose of a client choosing them based on whether they feel it's going to be a good fit.

So take a look through the website, their Psychology today profile, and see if they have any socials - Instagram, Facebook, TikTok - and then you'll be able to see more of who they are as a person and whether they would be a good fit for you.

The next piece once you've whittled your list down even more, is to book a phone consultation. Most counsellors offer a free 15-20 minute chat where you'll have a chance to ask questions about their practice, how they work, and it'll give you a sense for how they might show up in a counselling session. Again, the type of language they use, how they sound when they're in a conversation with you, their tone and how it lands with you, whether they use humour and make you laugh during the consultation. It all depends on who you vibe with, just like when you meet someone new and you get a sense for whether you would be friends - or not.

The last thing I'll say about this is that it's not uncommon to have to shop around a little bit, and to have one or two sessions with a couple of different counsellors so you can see whether they'd be a good fit. Not just in terms of what you like, but what you don't like - what doesn't resonate with you. It's like buying a car - you go to one dealership and test drive a couple of cars, then you go to the next dealership and try out a couple of different cars, and you get a better sense of what it is you're really looking for. So if you're in that scenario where you're trying out a couple of different counsellors, please don't see it as a waste. It may use some of your benefits or some of your money, but it's certainly not a waste, especially if it helps you zoom in on who is going to be good for you. You know you want to do this work, you know you need to work through these difficulties, so it's going to be important to find someone who you mesh well with. Again, remember that the therapeutic relationship is going to be the main factor to determine whether you do well in counselling. So it's important to like your counsellor, to be comfortable with them, to feel heard by them, feel like they get you and understand you, and are showing up for you in your sessions.

Those are my thoughts on how to find the right counsellor for you - the process of elimination, whittling down the list until you've got a nice list of people you can chat with on the phone and maybe meet with a couple of times for sessions.

Again, pleases feel free to send me an email if there's a certain topic that you'd like to chat about. Remember all of this is just my thoughts on my experience as a person and as a counsellor, my perspective based on the years that I've been doing this work. So let me know if you want to hear about anything in particular.

Thanks for reading,

-Katrina